The Princess, now a senior in college, was explaining to me the other day that it’s very important to avoid the appearance of being “extra.”
I had no idea what she meant.
“Extra what?” I asked innocently. I usually use that word in the context of ranch dressing. Like most people, I imagine.
“Extra. As in going overboard. Look it up on Urban Dictionary.”
Oh, that’s a hard pass. The last time I did that it was because I didn’t understand why someone was laughing at the phrase “tossed salad.” Enough said.
The “extra” comment came while discussing my idea to send a thank-you gift to someone for a minor kindness. The more I thought about it, I realized the Princess might be right.
You don’t want to appear “extra” because it may come across as desperate. As in: Love me! Like me! Friend me! I just wanna skin you and wear you!
Well, maybe not that last.
All of this talk of avoiding the appearance of being “extra” naturally made me think about Kim Jong Un’s trip to Singapore.
I’m sure you were headed there with me.
Turns out, there’s been serious concern about who should discreetly pick up the tab for his hotel and other travel expenses during nuke talks.
Mr. Kim is apparently the World’s Rudest Guest/Dictator and has let it be known he and his delegation will only stay in a $6,000 per night hotel suite. But, what do ya know? They forgot their wallets.
(This almost makes Scott Pruitt trying to buy a used Trump hotel mattress for his D.C. apartment seem virtuous. Almost, I said. He’s still a creep. With a used HOTEL mattress. Eww.)
I honestly can’t believe the nerve of Mr. Kim. He comes from a country whose No. 1 food is literally translated “man-made meat.” How does he get to be picky?
Wedding etiquette applies here: You shouldn’t bankrupt yourself for one day of fun. You should only have the (historic nuclear disarmament summit with world powers) that you can afford.
You might think this demand would be met with a meme-worthy exaggerated eye roll from all the other countries but, turns out, some have already pledged to pitch in and make it happen. Hence, they are extra.
I’m sure Mr. Kim will nitpick, even so. Someone will have to explain the mini-bar doesn’t stock “man-made meat” in the sumptuous Presidential suite at the Fullerton Hotel but there is a baby grand piano. (For $6,000 a night, I’d demand Billy Effin Joel be flown in to personally play lullabies for me.)
An anti-nuke agency says they may pay expenses for the North Korean delegation because world peace is at stake. And Singapore officials said they might chip in as long as Mr. Kim agrees not to eat kimchee in the room. That stuff is almost as gross as a USED HOTEL MATTRESS.
So far, the United States isn’t being extra and I’m glad. There shouldn’t be a “dictators stay free when accompanied by decent human beings.” Make ’em pay.
Celia Rivenbark is a NYT-bestselling author and columnist. Visit www.celiarivenbark.com.