It’s times like this that make me wish I had a music library and podcast to loudly remove from Spotify. It’s kind of amazing I don’t have a podcast since you really can’t throw a rock without hitting a podcaster these days. Go ahead, try it. See what I mean?

    My lack of podcasting doesn’t quell my fascination with the ongoing Spotify kerfuffle as musicians continue to boycott the insanely popular streaming platform because they believe superstar podcaster Joe Rogan spreads vaccine misinformation. Oh. And he also says the N word sometimes. You know, not in a derogatory way but more of a just-us-cool-guys way because, he assures us, he’s not racist. Said every racist ever. But moving on…

    It’s easy to keep track of who is leaving Spotify out of principle because it’s basically every artist whose poster was on my bedroom walls in high school.

    I love the old rockers getting riled. The last time Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young were this upset it was about four dead in O-hi-o and it was utterly brilliant.

    Good on them. And Joni Mitchell and Nils Lofgren even. The only question I have is: Where’s Steve Miller? And why isn’t he joining his (very) old pals in the protest? Perhaps he remains preoccupied with dissecting the “pompatus of love,” his famously made-up word because it felt right at the time.

    Man, I miss the ’70s. Making up a word just made Steve Miller all the more cool. Repeatedly asked by less chill folk what the word meant, a weary Steve finally said: “It means whatever you need it to mean.”

Outasite!!!

    Neil Young kicked things off with the Spotify boycott and now even a few young whippersnappers like multiplatinum life coach Brene’ Brown have bolted in solidarity.

    Rogan, who has a $100 million contract with Spotify and 11 million listeners is accused of befouling the podcast pool by inviting anti-vax conspiracy theorists and certified creeps like Alex Jones on his show. Oh, and he also recommends horse paste for Covid. In other words, by all indications, Joe Rogan is full of pompatus.

    I lost track of Rogan after watching him host “Fear Factor” many years ago. As host, it was his job to entice otherwise sensible folk to do decidedly weird and unpleasant things for cash money, like devouring a bowlful of fuzzy spiders or, and I’m not making this up, lying down in a casket full of rats. Pretty sure that would induce a major pompatus blowout among most sane people.

I’m sure we can all agree lying in a casket teeming with rats is a special brand of torture not unlike being forced to listen to your husband’s cousin’s niece’s boyfriend explain cryptocurrency and the blockchain at dinner. Of course, I’m kidding. Bring on the rats.

    I didn’t hear much about Joe Rogan for many years other than he was some sort of MMA fanboy for hire. Oh, and he repeatedly said pro wrestling was all fake, which, let’s just say he better not say in front of every rural granny I ever knew.

Little did I know he was out there getting richer and famouser with “The Joe Rogan Experience” podcast.

    Rogan has apologized for everything and promised to do better, saying “I’m not trying to be controversial.”

    Well, that’s a big fat lie. That’s exactly what he’s doing because controversy is what keeps those 11 million listeners coming back. Controversy is the whole point of the “experience.”

    Joe Rogan will survive. Much like the oft-lauded nuclear winter surviving cockroach, he will be just fine. Spotify will place a “content advisory” warning on his show. Smart. That will boost ratings even higher. Because the surest way to make people do something is to tell them not to do it.