Humor Columnist, Event Speaker and Author of these seven riotous reads.
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This is not a humor column…just a Facebook rant…
For a president who loves strong language, Donald (“Grab ’em by the pussy”) Trump’s watered-down ramblings following the domestic terrorism in Charlottesville, Va., this weekend leave much to be desired.
Trump’s pale pronouncement that the deadly rally sponsored by the abominable KKK and its scummy subcultures, that, well, this sort of thing is bad on all sides (?) is precisely how you talk when you don’t want to offend a base of supporters that you know all too well includes a repugnant mash-up of white supremacists, Nazi sympathizers—who, incidentally, couldn’t find Germany on a world map with both hands and a flashlight– and your garden variety redneck bigots. Trash, in other words.
I don’t say that lightly. I come from a Methodist church where we are taught to look for the face of Jesus in everyone we meet. Every one. I’ve even tried to see the face of Jesus in Trump but to paraphrase my favorite quirky theologian, Anne Lamott, when I listen to Donald Trump, I have thoughts that are so terrible they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish.
It should be abundantly clear today that Donald Trump needs to resign. He is a clueless hack who has us at the brink of nuclear war. He is a repulsive fame whore who assured Guam’s governor that nukes headed toward the tiny island would make him “famous.”
This is currency in the land of Trump. If one isn’t “famous,” one is worthless. There is zero value in going about the business of making the world a better place for one another. This is the pablum of the “libtards” and “snowflakes” in Trump’s world.
He incites police to violence and seems puzzled when they don’t seem to appreciate his wink-wink. Maybe it’s because real soldiers and real lawmen know he is the ultimate chickenhawk. Thank God, his shin splints or bone spurs or hammer toes or WHATEVER THE FUCK have healed now that he’s too old for Vietnam and he can safely play golf and tennis. Where, even there, he looks the fool.
Trump has cloaked himself in Christianity for this chapter of his life but it’s a Christianity of convenience, a transparent strategy to endear himself to the evangelicals whose support he needs at the ballot box.
I’m not speaking about the true evangelicals who love the Lord and are the greatest guardians of this planet because they know they are its stewards and there is no more important mission. They are fundamentally opposed to the destruction of our environment and they are horrified with the language of fracking and drilling and climate deniers.
I’m speaking about the modern-day hucksters who preach the gospel of Prosperity. God wants them to have that Gulfstream G650. Maybe not you so much. So send that $29.95 for your anointed prayer cloth by midnight tonight.
This country that we love so dearly deserves so much better than a president who panders to bigots and worships at the altar of money and fame.
Trump needs to resign. For the love of all that’s holy.