by Celia Rivenbark | Nov 9, 2020 | Weekly Column
I signed up to work all day at the polls on Election Day like I always do because I’m basically unemployed and I got plenty of time on my hands. Also, free food. This was the first time I’d been assigned this particular precinct about 2 miles...
by Celia Rivenbark | Nov 2, 2020 | Weekly Column
Let’s face it. The idea of anybody being appointed to any job “for life” is ridiculous. It’s important to remember when Alexander Hamilton and Company came up with this notion of lifelong appointments for federal judges, the life...
by Celia Rivenbark | Oct 26, 2020 | Weekly Column
Wouldn’t you just hate to be in line at the cafeteria behind “undecided voter”? He just can’t decide. Not me. I’ll have the liver and onions with a side of rice and gravy and that funky broccoli salad with the raisins in it....
by Celia Rivenbark | Oct 19, 2020 | Weekly Column
Once upon a time, in the borough of Queens, N.Y., there lived a troll named Trumpelstiltskin. He was prone to fits of pique, kicking his tiny, bone-spurred feet into the dust when angered. Using his outsized personality and bravado, Trumpelstiltskin...
by Celia Rivenbark | Oct 12, 2020 | Weekly Column
Big news, y’all. “The New York Times” just named the 10 counties in the United States that will decide the outcome of the presidential election and I live in one of them! It’s like being a pageant finalist! There are 3,007 counties...
by Celia Rivenbark | Oct 5, 2020 | Weekly Column
With all the social media memes comparing Tuesday night’s debate to an unruly kindergarten classroom, I decided to text my favorite kindergarten teacher to see if that was an accurate assessment. “Well, they didn’t throw poo,”...
by Celia Rivenbark | Sep 28, 2020 | Weekly Column
Watching “Schitt’s Creek” sweep the Emmys recently, I realized the biggest appeal of this astonishingly heartfelt comedy isn’t just the brilliant writing and casting. “Schitt’s Creek” is a balm during these...
by Celia Rivenbark | Sep 21, 2020 | Weekly Column
I’m just going to say it: Gender reveal parties are dumb. Outside of family and a (very) few friends, nobody cares if your baby is a boy or a girl. Y’all: But it’s fun and cute! Stop being such a grumpy ol’ bag! Look, when it was...
by Celia Rivenbark | Sep 7, 2020 | Weekly Column
President Donald Trump’s bizarre claims that “thugs wearing black” boarded a commercial flight in order to create mayhem in some U.S. city or the other left even his allies confused earlier this week. Why did this sound so familiar? Ahhhh,...
by Celia Rivenbark | Aug 31, 2020 | Weekly Column
Show of hands, who had “threesome with the pool boy” being the tawdry career-ender for Jerry Falwell Jr.? Whoa. That’s a lot of hands. Nother words, no real surprise here. Jerry Junior and wife, Becki, have been the pious poster couple for...
