by Celia Rivenbark | Apr 13, 2020 | Weekly Column
I have a friend who has become obsessed with the contents of the bookcases behind Coronavirus experts interviewed from their homes on TV. OK, I lied. It’s me. Ob-sessed. While I’m appreciative of a piece of hand-thrown pottery and a tasteful...
by Celia Rivenbark | Apr 6, 2020 | Weekly Column
Week 3…So, how we all doing out there? I don’t know about y’all but I feel like a lightning bug trapped in a mayonnaise jar except without the fun part where your butt lights up. The good news? I haven’t worn anything with a waistband in 21...
by Celia Rivenbark | Mar 30, 2020 | Weekly Column
Captain’s log Day 10 of my confinement…Rations are getting low and I’ve just realized there’s only one more Trader Joe’s ham and Swiss croissant square left in the freezer. Who will get it? Duh hubby who, starved for normal ESPN now...
by Celia Rivenbark | Mar 23, 2020 | Weekly Column
President Donald J. Trump today instructed Americans to stay home and make their own ventilators. “It’s true,” said Trump, safely sheltering in place in the cavernous confines of Sean Hannity’s empty head. “That’s...
by Celia Rivenbark | Mar 16, 2020 | Weekly Column
I had a “Larry David” moment the other day. Certainly not my first, or even my 10th but definitely a classic. Here’s what happened: The local franchise of a chain restaurant charged me $4 for a large iced tea. Because this is the South and tea...
by Celia Rivenbark | Mar 9, 2020 | Weekly Column
WHITE HOUSE PRESS CONFERENCE, SOMETIME IN THE VERY NEAR FUTURE—Vice President Mike (“Mike”) Pence will now address reporters with an update on the status of the Coronavirus, aka Covid-19. Pence: Thank you for being here today. I’m...
by Celia Rivenbark | Feb 24, 2020 | Weekly Column
“Purity” is a word you don’t hear that much, unless it’s used to describe a ring some high school couples wear so their parents won’t think they’re doing it. (Too cynical? I’m sorry. I wasn’t talking about your kid;...
by Celia Rivenbark | Feb 17, 2020 | Weekly Column
Ready! Aim! Fire! Steady, now, Dems who are rallying behind Bernie. You want the gun to be pointed directly at your foot when you pull the trigger. Look, it’s not that I think Trump would beat Bernie like a rented mule in November; it’s that I...
by Celia Rivenbark | Feb 17, 2020 | Weekly Column
Ready! Aim! Fire! Steady, now, Dems who are rallying behind Bernie. You want the gun to be pointed directly at your foot when you pull the trigger. Look, it’s not that I think Trump would beat Bernie like a rented mule in November; it’s that I...
by Celia Rivenbark | Feb 13, 2020 | Weekly Column
Before we say goodbye forever to what I’m calling “Crotchgate,” let me try to womansplain why so many of us went out of our minds over the Super Bowl halftime show. I shall now base my findings on science-ish. Which is like regular scientific...
