Humor Columnist, Event Speaker and Author of these seven riotous reads.
Collect all seven…like action figures!
Every town in America liked Christmas a lot
But the man in the White House most certainly did not!
The Trump hated the holidays! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don’t ask why—we don’t know the reason
It could be, perhaps, that his hands were too tiny
It could be his brain had one speed and that’s whiny
But I think the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small
But whatever the reason, his heart or his brain
He tweets and he lies while we circle the drain
Staring down from his tower with a sour Trumpy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in the town
He snarls at the caroling, at the shopping, he scoffs
“They haven’t any money. Their minds must be soft!”
“I’m taking their health care, I’ve gutted their futures
For the wounds I’ve inflicted there aren’t enough sutures!”
Merrymaking sounds leave his face all contorted
“I’ll only be happy when their hopes are aborted!”
“I’ll help!” says Jeff Sessions from his perch on the shelf
“I will, too,” says McConnell, “if it helps me, myself”
“Let me!” says Kellyanne, with a glint in her eye
“Sarah’s got this,” says Trump, “Through her teeth she will lie!”
“Don’t they know they are losers? They’re weak and they’re SAD!”
They celebrate stupidly, they make me so MAD!
They shouldn’t sing of a Messiah– unless it is me
I’m starting that border wall; just wait and see!”
“All Muslims are terrorists, trans soldiers aren’t brave
Not like me, did you see, that par I just saved?
I mock the disabled, I laugh at their fate
Twisted limbs crack me up! Have you seen that weird gait?”
He cleans out the Treasury like a thief in the night
While Putin looks on with grin ever so slight
Disguised as a leader, a president, no less!
He sets about constructing an abominable mess
No climate accord ‘cuz there’s no global warming!
Sure, glaciers are melting and bees aren’t a-swarming
“Pat Robertson says God’s on my side, my days will be long
Ima rage-tweet North Korea, what could go wrong?”
These musings made the Trump nearly giddy with glee
Why things would be fine, just wait and you’ll see
He sipped his McFlurry, time for Fox News and chill
But a tiny child’s voice did break the night, still
It was the tiniest Trumper, so kind, pure of heart
Cindy Lou’s eyes were so wide it gave him a start!
“Are you going to saddle us with debt for the ages?
Fight against laws that would improve wages?”
Her face in the fire’s glow was radiant with light
“Hannity’s on kid,” he said, “Get out or I’ll bite!”
She scampered away, what a fright he did give her
Worse than monsters in closets or eating cook’s liver!
Don’t worry, my children, there’s always hope
That a Grinch can change, not be such a dope
But if you’re wondering how in darkness we sing?
That should be obvious: It’s that whole Mueller thing.