Kylie Jenner, 24, looked at her partner, Travis Scott, also rich and famous, and asked innocently, “You want to take mine or yours?”

    Cue hair on fire. Because Kylie wasn’t talking about a car; she was asking which private jet they should take: his or hers.

    The Twitter outrage, fueled by a scrumptious story in “The Washington Post” chronicling celeb abuse of private jets, was fast and furious. How could she? Does she know nothing of the global climate crisis? Has no one told her, or Travis, private jets pollute the planet at a rate five to 14 times higher than commercial airplanes?

    While Kylie and Travis’s “Let them eat Biscoff” approach to flying was tacky and clueless, they are by no means alone. The “Post” reported jets owned by Taylor Swift and boxing icon Floyd Mayweather were ranked 1 and 2, respectively, as celebrities with the worst private jet carbon emissions. What an awards show that would be! “I’d like to thank all the people who helped me destroy the planet…”

    Taylor’s handlers had a swift defense: She frequently lets others use her private jet; often she’s not even on the plane. Well! Problem solved. Except…here’s a middle school math question for Team Tay: If a private jet leaves Teterboro (NJ) at 10:30 a.m. and arrives in Van Nuys (CA) five hours later, what flippin’ difference does it make who’s on the plane? Unless it’s me, in which case, y’all mind your business. I’m clearly having an awesome day.

Rapper Drake, defending using private jets for short flights didn’t see a problem. He explained, via Instagram, as if speaking to a small child, “(Sometimes) this is just moving planes to whatever airport they are being stored at…” Logistics. It’s not just a river in Egypt. Burning thousands of gallons of jet fuel so celebs can be closer to their jets as needed is laboratory-distilled levels of privilege.

Colin Murphy, deputy director of the Policy Institute for Energy and the Economy at UC-Davis, in a masterful stroke of understatement, told the “Post” rich folk are traveling in a much less efficient way than if they were sitting in a coach seat on a commercial jet.

Hahahahahahahahahaha. Picturing Kylie in the middle seat of a cross-country flight, between “Guy Devouring Leaky Muffaletta Sandwich—Extra Garlic” and “Woman Who Says Her Grandaughter’s Just As Pretty and Why Can’t SHE Have a Reality Show” made me howl.

Don’t get me wrong. Many of these polluting celebs work hard for the money. But you have to wonder why they can’t see the irony in yammering about the environment–Taylor Swift reportedly uses nature themed words in her songs seven times as often as other pop singers– while stretching out on cashmere seats with monogrammed headrests for a trip as short as…FOURTEEN MINUTES. Yes. Some of the flights were that short. It’s insane to take a jet that emits 480 times more than the average person’s ANNUAL carbon emissions, to essentially run over to Taco Bell before the Mexican pizzas give out. Which they always do, by the way, which makes me wonder why they even bothered to bring them back.

    But I digress.

    At the end of the world, sorry, day, everyone knows you will have to pry these elaborately decorated private jets from Kylie and company’s cold dead hands, but you have to admire the optimism of Peter DeCarlo, associate professor of environmental health at Johns Hopkins who studies atmospheric air pollution. DeCarlo told the “Post” he hopes celebrities will consider the environmental impact of their choices and the message they are sending and shape up.

    I know. Isn’t he adorable?

    Kylie and Travis will never live in a world where they fill up their shared hybrid with Harris Teeter fuel points. Pity.