by Celia Rivenbark | Aug 16, 2021 | Weekly Column
Duh Hubby’s slightly older, single friend “Otis” had a surprising reaction when Duh told him, after years of him begging and me insisting it would make our living room look like a sports bar, I had presented him with the big TV of his dreams...
by Celia Rivenbark | Aug 9, 2021 | Weekly Column
When we first emerged from pandemic isolation, we looked like prehistoric cave creatures, blinking slowly as we saw light for the very first time. Except instead of light, it was a waiter approaching with a tray of water glasses. What wonderment is this?...
by Celia Rivenbark | Aug 2, 2021 | Weekly Column
Look, I don’t want to say Hunter Biden’s artwork is terrible because I’ve got just enough redneck in me to simply not understand how a bunch of dots and splotches could cost half a million dollars. “It’s art,” says...
by Celia Rivenbark | Jul 26, 2021 | Weekly Column
Over the years, I’ve devoted at least a column or 10 to protesting the hilariously high prices at Panera. And, yes, since you ask, it was an exceedingly slow news week when this happened; What’s your point? These periodic rants, it should be...
by Celia Rivenbark | Jul 12, 2021 | Weekly Column
I’m not sure when it happened but fashion has decided we women of a certain age need to dress like clowns. Billowy, technicolor, ruffled things that seem designed to make everyone stare when we walk into a room. And then look away awkwardly because nobody...
by Celia Rivenbark | Jul 5, 2021 | Weekly Column
OK, so I was wrong about Chrissy Teigen. Here’s my quote in this space a month or so ago: “As I say 12-15 times a day, thank God for Chrissy Teigen…” This was in reference to CT’s aura of awesomeness in general and, specifically, her...
by Celia Rivenbark | Jun 28, 2021 | Weekly Column
Dear Readers: This column ran in Gannett newspapers on Father’s Day. My contract requires me to wait a couple of weeks before posting on my personal media, which is entirely fair. Soooo, that’s why you’re reading a Father’s Day column...
by Celia Rivenbark | Jun 14, 2021 | Weekly Column
Are we honestly supposed to think it’s mere coincidence the Brood X cicadas have emerged after 17 years underground at the exact same time the original cast of “Friends” has emerged in public together after the same 17-year-absence? Well, are...
by Celia Rivenbark | Jun 7, 2021 | Weekly Column
While there is nothing, I repeat, nothing, funny about a 19-year-old with a gun (later revealed to be unloaded) hijacking a school bus full of kindergartners so he could escape his military base, it was hard for savvy parents and teachers to hear the story...
by Celia Rivenbark | May 31, 2021 | Weekly Column
The scrawny lil redneck girl held up the line at the convenience store pumps ahead of me as she filled her tank and a few gas cans in the trunk of her car. She was greedy but prepared, unlike the Documented Idiots who pumped gas into Ziplock bags during...
