by Celia Rivenbark | May 25, 2020 | Weekly Column
Once again, dogs get all the good press. And once again, I find myself reading aloud a news story to my twin tuxedo cats, Joey and Chandler as they pace around the food bowls in the kitchen. “Boys, it says here that dogs are being used to detect...
by Celia Rivenbark | May 18, 2020 | Weekly Column
One of the symptoms of Covid House Arrest Syndrome is you start going down a lot of “rabbit holes” on your computer. I realized things might be getting out of hand when I actually Googled “Derivation of phrase going down rabbit hole.”...
by Celia Rivenbark | May 11, 2020 | Weekly Column
I made a rare trip to the grocery store last week. In preparation, I popped on a homemade mask (thank you crafty friends!) before heading straight to the produce department. And that is where I got my first official eyeroll from “Unmasked guy.”...
by Celia Rivenbark | May 4, 2020 | Weekly Column
Call me naïve, but I am surprised telemarketers seem completely undeterred by the worldwide pandemic. For some reason, I assumed Brian from sketchy “dealer services” would be using this time to stay home with his family pondering a change of...
by Celia Rivenbark | Apr 27, 2020 | Weekly Column
CONVENTION OF TV DOCTORS, BEVERLY HILLS, CALIF.–— Dr. Phil: Oh, wow, Mehmet. Glad you could make this year’s convention, given all the bullcrap being stirred up against us. Oprah’s not even taking my calls… Dr. Oz: Yeah, they’ve...
by Celia Rivenbark | Apr 20, 2020 | Weekly Column
I’d be lying if I didn’t tell y’all I’m starting to get a little pissy about the existence of “wet markets” selling freshly killed bats despite their proven link to deadly pandemics. Yeah, I know. Maybe it was just poison...
by Celia Rivenbark | Apr 13, 2020 | Weekly Column
I have a friend who has become obsessed with the contents of the bookcases behind Coronavirus experts interviewed from their homes on TV. OK, I lied. It’s me. Ob-sessed. While I’m appreciative of a piece of hand-thrown pottery and a tasteful...
by Celia Rivenbark | Apr 6, 2020 | Weekly Column
Week 3…So, how we all doing out there? I don’t know about y’all but I feel like a lightning bug trapped in a mayonnaise jar except without the fun part where your butt lights up. The good news? I haven’t worn anything with a waistband in 21...
by Celia Rivenbark | Mar 30, 2020 | Weekly Column
Captain’s log Day 10 of my confinement…Rations are getting low and I’ve just realized there’s only one more Trader Joe’s ham and Swiss croissant square left in the freezer. Who will get it? Duh hubby who, starved for normal ESPN now...
by Celia Rivenbark | Mar 23, 2020 | Weekly Column
President Donald J. Trump today instructed Americans to stay home and make their own ventilators. “It’s true,” said Trump, safely sheltering in place in the cavernous confines of Sean Hannity’s empty head. “That’s...
