by celiaadmin | Oct 19, 2015 | Fart Jokes, Weekly Column
The news that Volkswagen has lied its schnitzels off for years about hazardous emissions comes as a huge surprise to me because I always thought VWs were the sole of sensibility and honesty. In the early ’60s, our family had the only Volkswagen in the whole...
by celiaadmin | Oct 12, 2015 | Weekly Column
Caitlyn Jenner is on my last nerve. Ima say what the rest of y’all in my demographic are thinking but not saying out loud because it sounds hideously small-minded: Caitlyn is making us even more insecure about our looks. Let me explain… A few years ago there was...
by celiaadmin | Oct 12, 2015 | Weekly Column
Here’s a quick question based on the headlines this week which tell us that both Donald Trump and the bubonic plague are on the rise in this country. What exactly is the difference between Trump and the plague? That’s easy. One is a parasitic,...
by celiaadmin | Oct 12, 2015 | Weekly Column
You will never walk alone. No, seriously, never. As long as you have the new “Companion” app on your cell phone, every step you take, every move you make, every bond you break, I’ll be watching you. No, wait. That’s Sting. I meant to say a...
by celiaadmin | Oct 12, 2015 | Weekly Column
I’ve been so busy raising the Princess for the past 18 years that it was only when we got back home from the Weepiest Drive Ever taking her to college that I had a panicky thought hit me out of nowhere: I am going to be the world’s oldest grandmother....
by celiaadmin | Oct 12, 2015 | Weekly Column
Good news, ladies! The FDA has approved a drug that claims to get your motors running, so to speak. Hailed by its supporters as “the female Viagra,” the pink and white pill known as Addyi sounds as if it was named for somebody’s aunt who perhaps...
by celiaadmin | Oct 12, 2015 | Weekly Column
If you haven’t heard the phrase “hate selling,” you probably don’t buy airline tickets online very often. Consumer advocates are complaining that the worst offender is a very large carrier whose name rhymes with Relta. I don’t...
by celiaadmin | Oct 12, 2015 | Weekly Column
Target has a you-know-what on its back now that the megastore has decided to embrace “gender neutral signage.” All of this after a fed-up Midwestern mom tweeted a picture of an aisle labeled “Building Sets” and “Girls’ Building...
by celiaadmin | Oct 12, 2015 | Weekly Column
I imagine there is nowhere safe for Minnesota dentist Walter Palmer to hide now that everyone knows he essentially killed the Lion King. The guy is beyond toxic. Even noted NRA wingnut in chief Wayne LaPierre would probably duck-dive behind the couch if he saw...
by celiaadmin | Oct 12, 2015 | Weekly Column
While I often joke about my commitment to “a completely sedentary lifestyle,” I was oddly excited to take a 17 mile bike ride while vacationing in the mountains recently. The Virginia Creeper Trail brochure promised scenic bridges, panoramic views and,...
