by Celia Rivenbark | Apr 22, 2024 | Weekly Column
Newly anointed RNC co-chair Lara Trump’s recent impassioned plea for folks to donate money, even if they currently don’t have any, would make P.T. Barnum blush. “If you can’t afford a donation today,” said Lara, looking sleek and sophisticated in a dress that probably...
by Celia Rivenbark | Apr 15, 2024 | Weekly Column
Many years ago, a friend overheard me grouse about being called to jury duty. Not to worry, he said, offering his “foolproof plan for evading civic responsibility.” His advice was…interesting. “When they start asking you questions, just sit there in the jury box and...
by Celia Rivenbark | Apr 8, 2024 | Weekly Column
I ran into my friend “Biff the Fi-Guy” last week and asked him to explain how a company that has steadily posted losses can get another company to merge with it, trade on the stock exchange with a new name and end up making billions of dollars for, well, Donald...
by Celia Rivenbark | Apr 1, 2024 | Weekly Column
You have to hand it to the Transportation Safety Administration (motto: “Jelly is, too, a liquid!”). Only TSA could’ve surveyed the dystopian hellscape that is using a self-checkout at the grocery store and thought: “Yes! We should try that at airports so passengers...
by Celia Rivenbark | Mar 25, 2024 | Weekly Column
OK, hear me out. From now on, we’ll decide who is president not by winning the Electoral College vote (boring!) but instead, every four years, we’ll pick the prez “Love is Blind” style. That’s right! This fall, we’ll put Biden and Trump in the reality show’s trademark...
by Celia Rivenbark | Mar 18, 2024 | Weekly Column
I may have been hasty in suggesting Texas secede a few weeks ago because there’s another state that’s intent on making misery for no good reason these days: Alabama. Yes, the Tommy Tuberville-electin’, take your fertilized egg to work day Alabama. That one. Who knew...
by Celia Rivenbark | Mar 11, 2024 | Weekly Column
Our staycation destination just 45 minutes from home had been much anticipated: a beautiful oceanfront townhouse deeply discounted because it was February. Our party of six arrived with three carloads of food, adult beverages and multiple pairs of yoga pants, happily...
by Celia Rivenbark | Mar 4, 2024 | Weekly Column
READERS: This column, and all others, appears on social media sites two weeks after publication by Gannett Southeast newspapers. This is a contractual agreement and explains why I often appear to be woefully behind the news cycle. I fully expect Haley to drop out...
by Celia Rivenbark | Feb 19, 2024 | Weekly Column
I’ve been doing it all wrong and I’ll bet you have, too. Let me explain. When the Girl Scouts show up with their fresh faces and foldable tables in front of the grocery store, shopping mall, etc., I’m usually smack in the middle of a post-holiday diet that has me...
by Celia Rivenbark | Feb 12, 2024 | Weekly Column
Hey, Texas. You feeling OK? What’s that? Why do I ask? Well, because lately you’ve been acting kinda crazy, even by your standards. (Not you, Austin; go do some yoga somewhere while the grownups talk…) Look Texas, if you’re going to secede, go ahead and do it. We...
