by Celia Rivenbark | Oct 19, 2020 | Weekly Column
Once upon a time, in the borough of Queens, N.Y., there lived a troll named Trumpelstiltskin. He was prone to fits of pique, kicking his tiny, bone-spurred feet into the dust when angered. Using his outsized personality and bravado, Trumpelstiltskin...
by Celia Rivenbark | Oct 12, 2020 | Weekly Column
Big news, y’all. “The New York Times” just named the 10 counties in the United States that will decide the outcome of the presidential election and I live in one of them! It’s like being a pageant finalist! There are 3,007 counties...
by Celia Rivenbark | Oct 5, 2020 | Weekly Column
With all the social media memes comparing Tuesday night’s debate to an unruly kindergarten classroom, I decided to text my favorite kindergarten teacher to see if that was an accurate assessment. “Well, they didn’t throw poo,”...
by Celia Rivenbark | Sep 28, 2020 | Weekly Column
Watching “Schitt’s Creek” sweep the Emmys recently, I realized the biggest appeal of this astonishingly heartfelt comedy isn’t just the brilliant writing and casting. “Schitt’s Creek” is a balm during these...
by Celia Rivenbark | Sep 21, 2020 | Weekly Column
I’m just going to say it: Gender reveal parties are dumb. Outside of family and a (very) few friends, nobody cares if your baby is a boy or a girl. Y’all: But it’s fun and cute! Stop being such a grumpy ol’ bag! Look, when it was...
by Celia Rivenbark | Sep 7, 2020 | Weekly Column
President Donald Trump’s bizarre claims that “thugs wearing black” boarded a commercial flight in order to create mayhem in some U.S. city or the other left even his allies confused earlier this week. Why did this sound so familiar? Ahhhh,...
by Celia Rivenbark | Aug 31, 2020 | Weekly Column
Show of hands, who had “threesome with the pool boy” being the tawdry career-ender for Jerry Falwell Jr.? Whoa. That’s a lot of hands. Nother words, no real surprise here. Jerry Junior and wife, Becki, have been the pious poster couple for...
by Celia Rivenbark | Aug 24, 2020 | Weekly Column
Donald Trump’s commitment to preserving the suburban housewives’ way of life is nothing new but it is racist and ridiculous. Trump views this favorite demographic as a sea of slim white creatures wearing shirt-waist dresses and measuring sugar into...
by Celia Rivenbark | Aug 17, 2020 | Weekly Column
Perhaps I shouldn’t be too hard on Nikki Haley. After all, the Covid confinement has made us all a little nutty. How nutty, you ask? Well, I recently participated in a Facebook poll that wanted to know “How should cats wear pants?” Note...
by Celia Rivenbark | Aug 10, 2020 | Weekly Column
For four years now we’ve listened to Donald Trump crow about his upcoming “really beautiful” health care program. Four years of hearing about a plan so brilliant it would metaphorically roll up Obamacare in a room-size rug, toss it in...
