Give ‘Em What They Want: Let Texas Secede

Hey, Texas. You feeling OK? What’s that? Why do I ask?  Well, because lately you’ve been acting kinda crazy, even by your standards. (Not you, Austin; go do some yoga somewhere while the grownups talk…) Look Texas, if you’re going to secede, go ahead and do it. We...

Bratty Behavior is Decidedly Un-Beautiful

Let’s talk about the “Sephora bullies.” I realize that’s a great way to lose half the readership (“What’s a Sephora? Why does she think I care? It’s probably liberal; where’s my Cryptoquote?”) Let me explain. “Sephora bullies” refers to the toxic trend of preteen...

Loony Lauren Needs Some Relationship Advice

Dear Lauren Boebert, Cop a squat and let’s chat. First off, I get it. I was raised rural, and I know how it’s almost impossible to resist a man who spells his name exotically like your ex, Jayson. (I’m thinking “Brandin,” “Trystan” and most definitely “Jordyn.”)...