by Celia Rivenbark | Nov 7, 2022 | Weekly Column
I have an irrational fondness for loud engines. The distinctive “potato-potato-potato” growl of a Harley-Davidson, the thunderous take-offs from the airport near my house, the angry rumble of a stock car…these sounds make me blissfully emotional,...
by Celia Rivenbark | Oct 31, 2022 | Weekly Column
I was whipping up a batch of Chicken ‘n’ Nyquil just like the TikTok told me to when I heard disturbing news that my use of emojis and GIFs is (A) all wrong and (B) tells everyone how old and un-hip I am. I reacted to this by immediately...
by Celia Rivenbark | Oct 24, 2022 | Weekly Column
Hallmark store clerk: Good morning! May I help you select the perfect greeting card today? HERSCHEL WALKER: Yeah, thanks. Have you got anything along the lines of “Sorry About Lying To Everybody About Not Being Your Dad!” And, hey, do those...
by Celia Rivenbark | Oct 17, 2022 | Weekly Column
Fearmongering politicians claim the IRS is hiring 87,000 agents, arming them, and ordering them to kick down the door at Meemaw’s trailer home to scare the grits out of her if she’s behind on her taxes. That’s a terrifying scenario or...
by Celia Rivenbark | Oct 10, 2022 | Weekly Column
I was eagerly anticipating a bucket list trip to Italy in a few months until the fine folks at the travel agency began to send increasingly ominous emails harping on the need to be able to “walk long distances” and “negotiate steep steps...
by Celia Rivenbark | Oct 3, 2022 | Weekly Column
Flight Attendant: Good morning and welcome aboard Flight 815 with nonstop service to Caracas, Venezuela. Ted Cruz: Uhhhh, wait. Did she just say Venezuela??? I thought we were going to Cabo! I’m wearing my flowery shirt and cargo shorts with my murse....
by Celia Rivenbark | Sep 26, 2022 | Weekly Column
Our nation is divided on so many fronts these days, matters big and small, global and, er, townal. Our beliefs are routinely challenged by friends and family, not just strangers. One of the most serious divisions is relatively new. I refer, of course, to how we...
by Celia Rivenbark | Sep 19, 2022 | Weekly Column
Here’s what I don’t understand. Why does it fry your tater if someone who used a student loan to help pay for college gets up to $20,000 of that loan forgiven? Is it because Lauren Boebert (R-Pluto) quipped the loan was used for...
by Celia Rivenbark | Sep 5, 2022 | Weekly Column
Am I the only person who thinks it’s weird when the clerk asks if you have any questions for the pharmacist? Just once, I’d like to say, “OK, I guess so. Let’s see. OK, got one! Why is it that even though I work hard for the money...
by Celia Rivenbark | Aug 29, 2022 | Weekly Column
On tonight’s episode of “Hoarders,” you will meet an elderly Florida man who can’t let go of boxes and boxes of paper documents. “It’s all about the paper,” said “T,” who didn’t want to reveal his full...
